We all can develop resilience, and we can help our children develop it as well. It involves behaviours,
thoughts and actions that can be learned over time. Following are tips to building resilience.
1. Make connections
Teach your child how to make friends, including the skill of empathy, or feeling another's pain. Encourage
your child to be a friend in order to get friends. Build a strong family network to support your child through
his or her inevitable disappointments and hurts. At school, watch to make sure that one child is not being
isolated. Connecting with people provides social support and strengthens resilience. Some find comfort in
connecting with a higher power, whether through organized religion or privately and you may wish to
introduce your child to your own traditions of worship.
2. Help your child by having him or her help others
Children who may feel helpless can be empowered by helping others. Engage your child in age-appropriate
volunteer work, or ask for assistance yourself with some task that he or she can master. At school,
brainstorm with children about ways they can help others.
3. Maintain a daily routine
Sticking to a routine can be comforting to children, especially younger children who crave structure in their
lives. Encourage your child to develop his or her own routines.
4. Take a break
While it is important to stick to routines, endlessly worrying can be counter-productive. Teach your child
how to focus on something besides what's worrying him. Be aware of what your child is exposed to that can
be troubling, whether it be news, the Internet or overheard conversations, and make sure your child takes a
break from those things if they trouble her. Although schools are being held accountable for performance
on standardized tests, build in unstructured time during the school day to allow children to be creative.
5. Teach your child self-care
Make yourself a good example, and teach your child the importance of making time to eat properly,
exercise and rest. Make sure your child has time to have fun, and make sure that your child hasn't
scheduled every moment of his or her life with no "down time" to relax. Caring for oneself and even having
fun will help your child stay balanced and better deal with stressful times.
6. Move toward your goals                                                                          Teach your child to set reasonable goals and then to move toward them one step at a time. Moving toward
that goal — even if it's a tiny step — and receiving praise for doing so will focus your child on what he or
she has accomplished rather than on what hasn't been accomplished, and can help build the resilience to
move forward in the face of challenges. At school, break down large assignments into small, achievable
goals for younger children, and for older children, acknowledge accomplishments on the way to larger
goals.
7. Nurture a positive self-view
Help your child remember ways that he or she has successfully handled hardships in the past and then
help him understand that these past challenges help him build the strength to handle future challenges.
Help your child learn to trust himself to solve problems and make appropriate decisions. Teach your child to
see the humour in life, and the ability to laugh at one's self. At school, help children see how their individual
accomplishments contribute to the wellbeing of the class as a whole.
8. Keep things in perspective and maintain a hopeful outlook
Even when your child is facing very painful events, help him look at the situation in a broader context and
keep a long-term perspective. Although your child may be too young to consider a long-term look on his
own, help him or her see that there is a future beyond the current situation and that the future can be good.
An optimistic and positive outlook enables your child to see the good things in life and keep going even in
the hardest times. In school, use history to show that life moves on after bad events.
9. Look for opportunities for self-discovery
Tough times are often the times when children learn the most about themselves. Help your child take a look
at how whatever he is facing can teach him "what he is made of." At school, consider leading discussions of
what each student has learned after facing down a tough situation.
10. Accept that change is part of living
Change often can be scary for children and teens. Help your child see that change is part of life and new
goals can replace goals that have become unattainable. In school, point out how students have changed as
they moved up in grade levels and discuss how that change has had an impact on the students.
Taken directly from: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resilience.aspx